Setting vs Managing Expectations

Introduction

Setting and managing expectations is perhaps the single most important factor in client satisfaction. A project delivered exactly as expected feels successful, while a project that exceeds technical excellence but misses on expectations feels like a failure. The distinction between *setting* expectations (establishing them upfront) and *managing* them (adjusting them throughout) is crucial for anyone working with clients.

Why This Skill Matters

The Expectation Gap

Client satisfaction is the relationship between what they expected and what they received:

When expectations are set and managed well:

• Clients feel informed and in control
• Surprises are positive, not negative
• Satisfaction is high even when challenges arise
• Trust remains strong through difficulties
• Relationships are long-term and referral-rich

When expectations are mismanaged:

• Under-promised, over-delivered: Sounds good in theory, but often means underselling your value and leaving money on the table
• Over-promised, under-delivered: The most damaging scenario—breaks trust and damages reputation
• Unclear expectations: Creates a moving target where no one knows what success looks like
• Unmanaged changing expectations: Clients feel blindsided by developments they should have seen coming

For technical and creative professionals, who often focus on doing great work, understanding that perception management is equally important can be transformative.

Core Principles

1. Setting Expectations is Active, Not Passive

Good expectation setting requires:

• Explicit communication: Don't assume clients understand timeline, process, or scope
• Specificity: Vague promises create vague disappointment
• Documentation: Written expectations prevent misremembering
• Mutual agreement: Confirm they've heard and agreed to what you've outlined

2. Managing Expectations is Continuous

Expectations need updating when:

• New information emerges that changes timeline or scope
• Client needs evolve during the project
• External factors shift (market changes, technology updates, etc.)
• You learn more about the problem and what's really needed

3. Under-Promise and Over-Deliver Has Limits

• Good: Building in reasonable buffer for unknowns
• Bad: Dramatically underselling what you'll deliver (makes you look slow or expensive)
• Better: Set realistic expectations, then occasionally exceed them with unexpected wins

4. The Three Dimensions of Expectations

Always address:

• Timeline: When will things happen?
• Scope: What exactly will be delivered?
• Quality: What standards will be met?

If you manage one but not the others, you'll still have problems.

Good Examples

Example 1: Setting Clear Initial Expectations

During project kickoff:

"Let me outline what you should expect for this project:

Timeline: We'll work in 2-week sprints. You'll see working features every two weeks. The full project completes in 12 weeks, with launch scheduled for October 15.

Process: We'll have a 30-minute check-in every Monday. I'll send a written update every Friday. When we hit major milestones, I'll schedule a demo.

What you'll receive: A fully functional platform with [specific features listed]. This initial version focuses on core functionality. [Features X, Y, Z] are out of scope for phase 1 but can be added in phase 2.

What to expect early on: The first 2 weeks will feel slow as we set up infrastructure. Visible progress accelerates after week 3.

How to raise concerns: If something doesn't feel right, let me know immediately. Small adjustments are easy; late changes are expensive.

Decision points: I'll need your input on [specific decisions] by [specific dates]. I'll give you advance notice.

Does this match your expectations? What questions do you have?"

Example 2: Managing Shifting Expectations

When a complication arises:

"I want to update you on timeline. We discovered that the third-party API doesn't support the reporting feature the way we expected. This adds complexity.

What this means:

• The reporting module will take an extra week (originally week 8, now week 9)
• Total project timeline shifts from October 15 to October 22
• All other features remain on track

Why this happened: The API documentation didn't make this limitation clear. We discovered it during integration testing.

Options:

1. Accept the delay and get the full reporting feature (October 22 launch)
2. Launch October 15 with basic reporting, enhance it post-launch
3. Remove reporting from phase 1 entirely, keep October 15 launch

My recommendation: Option 2—gives you the launch date while still delivering value, then we perfect it.

What I need from you: Your decision by Wednesday so we can adjust the sprint plan.

I know this isn't the update you wanted, but I wanted to surface it early so we have options."

Example 3: Preemptively Managing Expectations

Two weeks before a milestone:

"Heads up about what to expect at our October 1 demo:

What will be ready:

• Core user flow fully functional
• Main features working and testable
• Real data integration

What won't be ready yet:

• Final visual polish (happens in next sprint)
• Email notifications (scheduled for sprint 8)
• Admin dashboard (phase 2)

I'm flagging this now because clients sometimes expect 100% completion at first demo. This demo is about validating functionality—polish comes after we confirm we're building the right thing.

The current state is exactly on track for our October 15 launch plan. Just want to make sure we're aligned on what you'll see."

Example 4: Exceeding Expectations Strategically

During normal update:

"Quick note: While implementing the user dashboard, I realized we could easily add a data export feature with about 2 hours of additional work. I know this wasn't in the original scope, but it seemed valuable and we had some efficiency gains this sprint that gave us the time. It's now included at no additional cost.

[Rest of normal update]"

Bad Examples

Example 1: Vague Initial Expectations

Client asks: "When will this be done?"

Bad Response: "Oh, it should take a few weeks. We'll get it done as quickly as possible."

Example 2: Over-Promising

Client asks: "Can you handle all of these features in this timeline?"

Bad Response: "Absolutely! No problem. We can definitely do all of that."

[Internally: You're not sure, but you want to close the deal]

Example 3: The Hidden Surprise

Week before deadline:

"Oh, by the way, this doesn't include mobile responsive design. That wasn't in the scope. That would be extra."

Example 4: Constantly Moving Goalpost

Throughout project:

• Week 2: "It'll be done in 8 weeks"
• Week 4: "Actually, looking like 10 weeks"
• Week 6: "Maybe 12 weeks"
• Week 8: "Probably 14 weeks"

Example 5: Passive Expectation Management

Client has unrealistic expectation, but you never address it:

[Client assumes work will be done by X date, you know it won't be, but you never explicitly discuss the disconnect]

Tips for Developing This Skill

1. Set Expectations Explicitly and Early

At project start, document:

• Timeline with specific milestones and dates
• Scope with inclusions AND exclusions
• Communication cadence and format
• Decision points and when you'll need input
• Quality standards and what they mean
• Process expectations (how you work, what they'll see when)

Share this document and get agreement.

2. Build in Appropriate Buffer

For timeline estimates:

• Known work with similar experience: 10-20% buffer
• Known work with some unknowns: 25-50% buffer
• New territory with significant unknowns: 50-100% buffer

Better to deliver early than late.

3. Create a Shared Definition of Done

Be explicit about:

• What "complete" means
• What testing has been done
• What documentation will exist
• What quality standards are met
• What's included vs. what's follow-on work

4. Use Progressive Disclosure

You don't need to solve all unknowns at project start:

• Set clear expectations for Phase 1
• Acknowledge that Phase 2 details will be refined after Phase 1
• Create decision points where expectations will be refined

5. Communicate Changes Immediately

When something affects timeline, scope, or quality:

• Notify early: As soon as you know, not when it's too late to adjust
• Explain why: What changed and why
• Quantify impact: How much delay, cost, or scope change
• Offer options: When possible, present alternatives
• Get buy-in: Confirm they understand and accept the new expectation

6. Document Everything

Write down:

• Initial scope and timeline agreements
• Mid-project expectation adjustments
• Decision rationales
• What was delivered vs. what was planned

This protects both parties from misremembering.

7. Check In on Expectations Regularly

Ask explicitly:

• "Are we aligned on timeline?"
• "Is this what you expected to see at this point?"
• "Do you have concerns about where we're headed?"
• "Is there a mismatch between what you're expecting and what we're planning?"

8. Distinguish Types of Changes

Scope creep: "That's a great idea, and it's a change to scope. Let's discuss adding it to phase 2 or adjusting timeline/budget for phase 1."

Clarification: "I think we're discovering that what you actually need is slightly different from what we initially planned. Let's realign."

External change: "The landscape shifted with [event]. We should revisit our assumptions."

Connection to Other Skills

Setting and managing expectations is central to nearly every other skill:

• Proactive Communication: How you manage expectations continuously
• Instilling Confidence: Clear expectations build confidence
• Delivering Bad News: Often involves resetting expectations
• Managing Scope Creep: About maintaining expectation boundaries
• Following Through on Commitments: Commitments are expectations
• Creating Digestible Project Status Updates: Should reinforce or adjust expectations
• Handling Unrealistic Client Requests: Involves realigning expectations with reality
• Managing Conflicting Feedback: Often reveals misaligned expectations
• Setting Healthy Communication Boundaries: Setting expectations about availability
• Connecting Technical Decisions to ROI: Managing expectations about value

This skill is foundational to client satisfaction.

Action Items

Immediate Practice

1. For your current project, write down what you believe the client expects vs. what you plan to deliver—any gaps?
2. If you found gaps, schedule a conversation to realign expectations this week
3. In your next project kickoff, use the comprehensive expectation-setting framework from Example 1

Ongoing Development

1. After each project, review: Where were expectations misaligned? When did misalignment emerge? How could it have been prevented?
2. Create a standard expectation-setting document template for your projects
3. Build in a monthly "expectations check-in" for long projects
4. Track your estimation accuracy over time—are you consistently over or under?

Build Your System

1. Create expectation-setting templates for:

• Project kickoff
• Milestone previews
• Change notifications
• Decision requests

1. Build buffer guidelines:

• Document what buffer percentages you use for different types of work
• Review and adjust based on actual outcomes

1. Set up expectation checkpoints:

• Calendar reminders to verify alignment
• Standard questions to ask at milestones
• Red flags that trigger expectation conversations

1. Maintain an expectation log:

• What was initially promised
• When and why expectations were adjusted
• Client responses to changes

Self-Reflection Questions

• Do I tend to over-promise or under-promise?
• How often are clients surprised by timeline or scope?
• When expectations shift, do I address it immediately or avoid the conversation?
• Am I clear and specific, or vague and hand-wavy, when setting expectations?
• Do I document expectations, or rely on verbal agreements?
• How do I handle the discomfort of delivering disappointing expectation adjustments?
• What role does people-pleasing play in my expectation-setting?

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Remember: Client satisfaction lives in the gap between expectations and reality. You have two levers: the reality you deliver and the expectations you set and manage. Great work with poor expectation management still leads to unhappy clients. Adequate work with excellent expectation management often leads to delighted clients. Your goal is both great work AND great expectation management—but if you're working on improving one, expectation management often has higher ROI. The most satisfied clients aren't necessarily the ones with the fanciest deliverables—they're the ones who got exactly what they expected, when they expected it, or who were kept informed and involved when expectations needed to shift. That's entirely in your control.